These are the 80-something tweets that formed the original “Arab Tyrant’s Manual”. Although most were posted by me, I cannot claim exclusive credit for them. Many were “retweets”, as I collected and restated other people’s contributions. I include them here as-is, hash-tags included, only editing to correct typos.
For a (rather lengthy) introduction to the Arab Tyrant’s Manual, click here. The full manual is here
> Help me compile an “Arab Tyrant’s Standard Revolution Response Manual”. What would be on it?”
> So an Arab Tyrant would, in response to revolution: Offer money like pay increases… #ArabTyrantManual
> Say: “This is not X” (where X is the country that had a revolution just before) #ArabTyrantManual
> Uniformed police, followed by plainclothes thugs, followed by the army. #ArabTyrantManual
> Blame Aljazeera, then attack it, then shut it down in the country. #ArabTyrantManual
> Blame it on “foreign agendas.”
> Blame it on a conspiracy. The more ridiculously bigger, the better. Our country is so awsome that everyone is trying to bring us down. #ArabTyrantManual
> Say “We support the youths” (while their own police force is beating the crap out of the youth) #ArabTyrantManual
> Blame it on Islamists. Start small (Muslim Brotherhood) then go all the way to the big boogie man, Alqaeda. #ArabTyrantManual
> Ignore events completely, realize late how serious things really are, and give a midnight speech to the nation. #ArabTyrantManual
> Warn of factionalism, sectarianism, tribalism, and many other scary “isms”. #ArabTyrantManual
> Reshuffle the cabinet. Then reshuffle it again. #ArabTyrantManual
> Get thugs out of jail, give them bludgeon type weapons, and let them loose upon the people. #ArabTyrantManual
> Burn down your own police stations and blame it on the protesters. #ArabTyrantManual
> Act surprised when suddenly, fire breaks out in prisons where political detainees are held. #ArabTyrantManual
> Make a teary, emotional display about how much you love your country and how you spent your life serving it. #ArabTyrantManual
> Insist that everything is fine. #ArabTyrantManual
> When things get bad, shut down mobile networks & social media. When they get really bad, shut down the internet. #ArabTyrantManual
> Claim ignorance. “I didn’t know that there were these problems, and I will punish those responsible for it!” #ArabTyrantManual
> Say that only a tiny percentage of the people are against me. The majority are with me. Cite the latest elections. #ArabTyrantManual
> Say that “Change must take place” and promise great and amazing things if those kids would just stay at home. #ArabTyrantManual
> Addition to #ArabTyrantManual: Promise radical change. Say that this regime that remained static for 40 years can reform in 9 months.
> Say that you were going to retire soon anyway and had no intention of running for the next elections. #ArabTyrantManual
> Say that you are planning to peacefully relinquish power at the next election, scheduled 12 years later. #ArabTyrantManual
> Get yourself a shameless liar and make him Minister of Information & head of state TV. #ArabTyrantManual
> Insist on following the constitution. Ignore them when they say you didn’t care about the constitution before. #ArabTyrantManual
> Complain on behalf of “average citizens” that normal life is being held up due to the protests. #ArabTyrantManual
> Say that you ruled the country out of love and service and you have no desire for power and have no money. #ArabTyrantManual
> Have a military parade. Say it’s for the nation. It’s actually to show them what’ll come at them if they revolt. #ArabTyrantManual
> Order the interior minister to kill them all. Then sack him for his heavy-handedness. #ArabTyrantManual
> Say that the kids were pure of heart, but were tricked by “foreign agendas”. #ArabTyrantManual
> Say that the kids were tricked into protesting through X (KFC, Nescafe, drugs, sex, etc.) #ArabTyrantManual
> Kill a thousand. And then say that you have no idea how they died because you haven’t used force “yet”. #ArabTyrantManual
> Stage demonstrations in support of your rule. But don’t give them flags & banners. Give them 50 bucks & an AK47. #ArabTyrantManual
> Say your country doesn’t need a revolution coz it already had one. Cite the year you came to power. #ArabTyrantManual
> Let your thugs loose on the protesters. Say that these were unfortunate clashes between pro- and anti- demonstrators. #ArabTyrantManual
> Bring in the boogie man of your grandfather’s generation: Colonialism & imperialism. #ArabTyrantManual
> Call your favorite brown-nose celebrity (singer, dancer, soccer player, etc.). Ask to talk on TV in your support. #ArabTyrantManual
> Use religion. Call your state mufti and promise him a pay raise for the proper fatwa. #ArabTyrantManual
> Hold a press conference to suck up to journalists. Then, send thugs after them to punch them and smash their cameras. #ArabTyrantManual
> Say that the protests started as a pure youth movement but were “”hijacked”” by a foreign agenda. #ArabTyrantManual
> Foreign agenda X (where X can be: Islamism, Zionism, Israel, Iran, USA, colonialism, imperialism…) #ArabTyrantManual
> Have a charming interview with a famous journalist. Amanpour would do. #ArabTyrantManual
> Say that your people are not ready for democracy. You have to pave the way to it, by acting like a complete asshole. #ArabTyrantManual
> If foreign nations criticize, blast them for not understanding your culture. “In our culture, I rule. They obey.” #ArabTyrantManual
> Don’t allow funerals. Hold the bodies. Funerals become demonstrations. #ArabTyrantManual