Launches New Sleeper ServiceTM

MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report) – Trying to make the best of what could be a public relations disaster, Northwest Airlines today unveiled a new corporate slogan, “We’ll Get You Within 150 Miles of There.”

According to Carol Foyler, a Northwest spokesperson, the new slogan “reflects our dedication to getting our passengers as close as possible to their intended destination.”

Northwest timed the announcement of their new slogan to coincide with the launch of their new Sleeper ServiceTM.

The new sleeper service provides fully reclining seats, pillows and blankets for all travelers seated in the cockpit area.

According to Ms. Foyler, “Our new Sleeper Service TM should reassure all Northwest travelers that our pilots are the best-rested in the industry.”

In a related story, the two Northwest pilots who overshot Minneapolis said they were just trying to do publicity for the movie “Amelia.” More here.